he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
