Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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