omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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