You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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