worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I don't think brook has ever known best
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
