they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
