So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize