I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
