That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I love having hate sex.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
These tits shall not be calmed
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
