His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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