can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
