I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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