just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
false alarm, still single
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize