Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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