Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
