The maid of honor just puked.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
