no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
