its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
3 2 1 whiskey
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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