I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
