Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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