:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
