"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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