I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
