My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
