'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just tell him i said nine months
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
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