have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
