My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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