Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
