tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
