I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
