toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
