? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
