After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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