no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just had sex on a roof
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
