I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
