babies were throwing up all over the place
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
