SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize