I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
