What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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