Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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