You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
it's like heaven, but drunker
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
