We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize