therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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