I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
