I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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