Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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