can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The air was thick with penises
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
