he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Text me some of your sweat
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
