i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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