your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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