you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
