david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
