and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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