You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
