bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
