I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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