C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
