The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize