you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize