also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
