No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
