I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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